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April 05, 2005

Getting Married before Getting Married

Or maybe we should have titled this article "Getting Married Twice". There is a growing trend in the US of couples getting married twice - in a short period of time. Couples are quietly eloping prior to having their public ceremony.

There are a variety of reasons for doing this, here are a few examples:



  • Tax Reasons - sometimes getting married before the end
    of the year can provide couples with a tangible tax benefit, enabling them
    to have a little bit more money before the wedding.

  • Escaping the Pressure - the pressure of planning a wedding
    can be overwhelming. For some brides and grooms the pressure of the event
    itself makes it less enjoyable than it should be. Getting it done beforehand
    in front of a much smaller audience makes it easier.

  • Unplanned pregnancy or Illness - the need for health insurance
    can force couples into getting things taken care of before the big date. Rather
    than cancel the ceremony, they go through things twice.

  • Family disapproval - if the spouse isn't well liked by
    the family, sometimes people get married without telling their family.

  • War - people are in a hurry to make things official before
    getting separated by military service.

  • Financial Preparation - Having a big wedding is expensive.
    Rather than hold off until they can afford the big one, couples have small
    private services and wait until a larger ceremony is more financially feasible.


Keeping an early wedding a secret is stressful for many couples. Some let their
family know, others keep it a secret indefinitely. The proper thing to do can
not be laid out in any etiquette book, because each situation is very different.
Families have mixed reactions.

Posted by weddings at April 5, 2005 02:27 AM

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